But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
