Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize