FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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