She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
