Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
