are you still at the devil's house?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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