Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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