Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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