She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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