I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
