She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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