If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
