Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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