there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
