Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
