I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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