his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
