it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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