considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
