I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
