My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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