You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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