I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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