Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
