i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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