literally had 100 drinks last night.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
