You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
