sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
