And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
