Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
