if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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