She announced her abortion via fbk
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you made out with another girl for some wings
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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