I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
