So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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