We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
