My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
