OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
