I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
