8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
