I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
