haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
only you would photoshop your dick
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
