those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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