Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
