today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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