I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
