I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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