Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
