Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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