I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
