Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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