why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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