Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize