capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize