I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
