i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
