If that was your dad, he is hot
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm bleeding and have questions
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
