another moral hangover. fuck.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
