Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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