Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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