69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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