My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
