And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
