i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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