U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
